Ranchin’ Wisdom

Twenty-five pairs to a section for the summer is good for the cows and the land. Especially if you divide it with a fence, and graze one part hard, then switch sides.

A heifer counts as 2/3rds of a pair.

You really ought to say hello if you've met someone. That means handshakes, chit chat, keeping up on their kids, and helping out at their place.

Bulls shouldn’t be angered, but they can also be whacked pretty good without making them angry.

Throwing a lariat is a hell of a lot of fun.

Most anything can be washed off your hands, or clothes, or face.

Milking a beef cow is a five man, two horse job.

Don’t walk alone at night in Waterton. There aren’t muggers, just cougars.

Don’t take corners too fast in a flatbed pickup with a bucketful of staples.

Try to keep grass to a minimum when cleaning up spilled staples, even if it was the ranchers fault.

Argue if you need to.

Get clear directions to where you are going. Even if you have to ask for a map.

Learn to memorize numbers, e.g. 503a, 503b, 61, 349. They are cows, and they have different needs, destinations, and temperaments.

Always trust a vet, he does things you really really don’t want to, mostly involving the back end of bulls.

Cowboys really do yell “Get along now!” “Giddy-up!” and “Yeehaw,” (perhaps because of Roy Rogers).

You need four wheel drive.

You don't NEED a speedometer (or seatbelts, or tight steering, or upholstery on your seat, or latching doors, or window cranks...)